Believe me it’s hard not to believe –
I am an atheist last since 5 years from now and believe me it’s not about being trendy, cool, ignorant, arrogant, intolerant, haughty or cheek!
It was way painful initially. It was like someone suddenly said you are not who you are! It was like my curiosity pulled me into an abyss of never ending shuffle of questions and modified answers and innovations and discoveries and suddenly it seems like nothing exist for permanent except evolution and I am no sorry that the concept of God never pleased me regarding my queries.
When I say I am Godless I don’t mean to say ‘ I am smarter than you -theists’ because when I say Godless or atheist – I am saying I am agnostic, clueless about the roots being the tree and it’s never the say of pleasure, my fellow theists!
You know how devastating it was for me to deny the creator? You know how much anxiety I suffer even in till date I panic about loopholes, about wormholes, about blackholes, and dark matter -Yeah you guessed it right a physics enthusiast i am and I agree science is more familiar and kind towards my question of existence than God who choose not to answer anything directly!
I am not saying I am getting any kind of satisfaction being a non-believer but definitely I nurture my curiosity each day being in search of that invisible, invincible!
Experimenting God is so necessary now!
At-least I am not quitting against my anxiety and accepting the stereotypical, unreasonable legacies letting me into illusions of arrange marriage with the concept of God !
How can someone with no eyes to go through and no lips to follow – wants me to believe the unsaid because being a writer I can read a blank face but not Literally!
But I am thankful towards God for putting this question in my mind that if not He than Who?
To be frank I know atheists are in the mid of nowhere, I know they struggle daily, I know when they say “atheist” people Judge them in no time, I know how it feels not having anyone to pray but to pay hardwork for anything you desire.
The biggest confusion I face while explaining myself to people is while making them understand that I am an atheist but I am Spiritual! Making them realise that No ! Spiritually is not all about having an imaginary creator’s acceptance.
Rather I can’t explain you my chaos of being an atheist. People who believe in god – Listen, I respect you, no offence but please don’t drag me into your world of imaginary enchantments or announcements I never heard to witness.
I can’t just accept the reason you believe in God because everyone does the same and because you need faith to rest upon- because STOP! ” Faith is independent of God “ unless you are desiring out something from it!
For the sake of reasoning–
“Believing is too old to innovate and question, I believe that temporary is the only permanent, I believe every moment is new and fresh and indifferent with the previous, I believe I should question each and everything I am theistic for – each day so that I can answer my world of atheists and discard myself if I fail to! ”
For I am not growing old but transforming young peeling off my skin to let my soul be one with the universe and to Resonate with it’s natural frequency of Atheistic hymns.